Parents, You Matter
Teach your kids about money. Mine did!
“Parents have an enormous influence on how their kids behave (or misbehave) when it comes to managing money.”
You often hear me talk about the power of parent’s influence over their children’s views about money, and the research backs this up. Kids really do learn more about money from their own parents than what you might them to learn in the classroom. It’s the everyday dialogue they hear around the house about what the parents can and cannot “afford” and which bills still need to be paid. It’s hearing the stress in the parents voices when they discuss what they have versus what they don’t have. On some level, we know by the time we’re in grade school whether our parents have a healthy attitude about spending and investing or if they are intimidated, threatened or angry and resentful about their money issues.
Now, more than ever before, I know how much my parents’ attitudes about money have affected me. I am thinking of all this today because last Wednesday, July 28th, I lost my mom. If you watch MoneyTrack regularly, you have seen Lucille show up every now and again, and that’s because this woman’s approach to managing money had a profound effect on me. For some really odd reason, both my parents were acutely aware that they were training us for life in the real world.
My dad spent time with me starting back in middle school smoothing out the newspaper on the kitchen table and pointing to the impossible-to-read tiny fine print on that pages that went on and on listing ridicules details about stocks that were bought and sold that day. Believe me, in seventh grade, the only reason I focused on it for more than 30-seconds was because I could see this meant something to my dad. He did this often and made me think I was learning the secrets of what makes the world go round which, in a way, is true. Then, he started quizzing me and the whole thing became a game - a really fun game! I thought it was pretty darn cool that my dad knew so much about this subject and his intense interest inspired me to learn more. It became one of those conversations that did not have to involve my older sister or my mom.
When I got my first job scooping ice cream at Friendly’s on Cape Cod, my dad introduced the concept of paying taxes which was pretty shocking because I figured I’d made $135 in a one week but my paycheck said I was actually getting a check for $113. My dad taught me how to prepare a tax return which I hated but recognized as necessary if I was going to live in America. Meantime, my mom paid all the bills and pretty much managed the cash flow in our home. Let me tell you, there wasn’t much of an allowance going on in my house and the tooth fairy was a little on the tight side compared to what my friends got for their front teeth.
Lucille had a “system” for paying bills – she actually called it her system and it turns out to be a heck of a lot like Mint.com or any other modern day online tool we rely on today to organize our money. The only difference, of course, is Lucille’s system only involved a pencil (very sharp) and paper. Not even a calculator. I remember she would get really angry and worked up about bills coming due that she could not pay in full. She’d get on the phone and write her little notes and negotiate with everybody from the gas company to the telephone or the plumber. On those days, we couldn’t even talk to her.
Lucille really cared about her appearance and wanted to shop at nice (unaffordable) expensive stores so she had store credit cards for a handful of very upscale department stores. I remember many a shopping excursion where we didn’t even get all the way into the store because the sale rack was by the front door and that was going to be the only rack we’d look through. Yes, Lucille was a penny pincher – squarely in the “saver” camp. When I was about nine, it was my mom who marched me down to the savings bank to open my first passbook savings account with money I’d gotten in birthday cards from my generous relatives.
All of these memories have become the backdrop for how I deal with my own money. I thank my dad for grooming me so early so I could use that knowledge to beat the pants off all the older kids in Monopoly and then later begin a career in the financial world. And Lucille, I have you to thank for raising me with an awareness that money does not in fact grow on trees, and that spending more than you really have is not acceptable behavior. Reality check mom! I just want to say that I am grateful to both my parents because the only reason I have such an avid interest in the subject of money – especially investing and protecting it, is because my learning these practical life skills was so important to both of them.
Here’s to 94 years of Lucille! I love you mom!
